living with an open heart…

‘it takes courage to live with an open heart’, remarked my yoga teacher this morning as we began our first yoga session for the summer.

What my teacher is talking about is love. Without love, we are closed to the wonders of life itself. When our hearts are open – when we love ourselves – we can love others. Love is about finding the courage to embrace our true beings. Love is about allowing ourselves to follow dreams. It’s about feeling empowered to explore our creativity, feeling grounded in our sense of self, learning to open ourselves to the possibilities of life. Love is about knowing and accepting our true selves.

And so with today being the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, our yoga practice changed pace. Summertime – in the Kripalu yoga tradition – is the season for backbends, where we explore the concept of open heart space through postures that physically open up our chest (think back bend type asanas) in order to explore deeply into our minds and emotions.

This all has got me thinking. Back bends and yoga gurus aside, what else am I doing in my strive to live with an open heart?

Inspired by the words of my teacher and also by reading my friend’s dynamic blog today (gotta love synchronicity!), here’s a list of other things I’m currently doing to find courage to live with my heart open:

* daily writing. each morning I spend half an hour spilling words onto three pages of a notebook. the writing is rambling and stream-of-thought style. I’d never show them to anybody, but the exercise grounds me and helps me to find my centre. It’s a technique I learned from a Julia Cameron book many years ago

* weekly artist dates. another Julia Cameron technique. I take myself on a date once a week, choosing a fun, frivolous activity in which to indulge my artist. It might be as simple as a bubble bath, a visit to my favourite thrift store or a walk to the park

* nuturing my relationships with others. whether its dinner dates with friends, picnics in the park, skype dates with friends who are faraway or an intimate night with my lover, spending quality time with people I love is important

* circus class. Not only is it an absolutely challenging physical and mental workout, it’s also super fun

* snuggly nights reading bedtime stories outloud

* weekly art making. messing about with charcoal, finding myself up to my elbows in paint or doodling with ink pens all make me feel fresh and invigorated. Creating is fun! I’m also currently learning how to knit.

* cooking. Being in the kitchen is so soothing, especially when I’ve got a pile of scrumptious ingredients to convert into a giant dinner feast. and did i mention baking?

* walks up ‘the mountain’. There’s something about meandering through the twisting paths of Mont Royal that just makes my heart feel so soft and gentle. love it!

* having big heart-to-hearts with friends

* traveling adventures. there’s something about being on the road, meeting new people that always seems to encourage my heart to be wide open and free

* drinking cups of tea over a good book in my favourite chair by the window

* dancing

* going to a bunch of (often free!) music, theatre and dance gigs in montreal each week. So many festivals on at the moment, it’s mindblowingly inspirational!

My teacher is right. It’s not easy living with an open heart. Many days I feel vulnerable and exposed. Sometimes I get worried that I’m having too much fun and just ‘fooling around’ instead of getting on with it, growing up and getting a ‘real’ job. Until I realise that love is getting on with it. Without love, there is nothing else. So it has to be a priority: loving myself and those around me; supporting and nurturing each other. Laughing and rejoycing at the rawness of life. This is living. All i can do is keep trying my best.

rain, yoga and the winter blues

It rained yesterday. This doesn’t seem to be a particularly interesting event, however, it struck me that I’m used to equating rain with a decrease in temperature. In Montreal it’s not so. The rain yesterday saw me wander the streets on my way to run errands without my beanie, gloves and down-jacket! And didn’t I feel naked. It feels like years since I’ve felt fresh air against my fingers…

As you might have guessed, I’m struggling a bit with the cold weather. It was all well and exciting to start with, but – my god – I’m over it now. I’m yearning to run naked across green grass and feel the warmth of the sun against my breasts. I miss the slimy feeling of warm mud squishing between my bare toes. I want to be able to walk down the street without feeling like half my face is going to fall off from freezing.

Despite getting out as much as possible to go ice skating, skiing, hanging out with friends, volunteering with various projects (go, go, go!) and despite thoroughly enjoying all these activities, I’m rapidly becoming a miserable heap… I’m probably not very fun to be around at the moment. Along with whinging and whining about the cold, I taken to constantly reminding anyone within earshot how in my country we rarely even use heating…

But I had an interesting conversation with my yoga teacher about the winter this morning. (Yup, I’ve started my free yoga classes. One last night and the other this morning… oh yes, I’m making the most of it!)… She mentioned how winter can be such a good time to withdraw a little and rest. To snuggle in close to yourself and find time for introspection…

Now, I’ve heard all this before… but I often struggle to allow myself to succumb to the inner voice that invites me to sit still and do nothing. Isn’t that just lazy? Shouldn’t I be proactive in finding happiness ‘out there’?

And yet, despite proactive good intentions to be happy, I’m realising that I’ve actually been taking a pretty negative approach to living in this crazy cold climate. Is this why I’m feeling so down and out? I’ve been battling against winter, rather than flowing with it. I’ve been determined not to let winter get the better of me and have tried to stay as active as possible. I’ve been ignoring my inner compass that is telling me to slow down and rest. What would happen if I did slow down? If I listened to the voice that yearns for peace, quiet and a warm spot by the fire to just sit, think, write or draw?

So that’s what I’m going to explore this week. Can I get in touch with the tranquility of winter and do some quiet introspection? Can I embrace the opportunity to rest more and go with the  flow that winter brings. I suspect my yoga classes will help with this immeasurably!

I’ll let you know how I go!

bartering is good for the soul…

well it looks like my new year’s resolution to re-establish my yoga practice is off to a good start!

I’ve just sorted a barter exchange with a local yoga school to allow me access to unlimited free yoga classes… all i have to do is three hours (maximum) of flyer distribution each week… pretty cool huh!?

And to make it even more exciting? The yoga school offers classes in hatha, hatha vinyasa, krupalini and kundalini practices… Daily yoga. Here we come!